Messages from the Universe

Last night I had a dream, that FORTUNATELY, shied away from the recent trope of 'hey, let's panic in my dreams!' I wouldn't say my sleep was restful, as I only got maybe 5 hours, but that's more than I've had in a while. I've been on edge for a little over 8 months straight, which has been wearing on me, both mentally and physically.

The dream I had last night, while it was largely dissimilar from every other dream (that wasn't a message), was very clear in its meanings, clear enough that I didn't need to be awake to decipher it.

I won't type the whole thing out, because it probably won't make sense to many of you, though it was quite clear to me. But the message itself...

The wisdom of friends: Snippets from their lives that help me learn about mine

So, most of you have probably noticed I have friends from all sorts of walks of life. And I learn from them. Below are some recent snippets of their lives that have helped me delve myself. These friends have taught me a lot, and with many of them I had the added, amazing advantage of being able to read years and years of their lives before we ever actually met, and some of them have done the same for me. As a result, I have the wonderful benefit of having people who, while they may not understand me completely, have understood me more completely than the people who thought they knew me best. With most of the people I grew up with, I was always berated for my ideas, and my opinions, and how they thought I thought I knew everything. I've never claimed to, which is why I read forums, blogs, social networks, all pertaining to things that have NOTHING in common with me, because you really can't understand someone else until you walk in their shoes, holding their hands as a ghost of their future, feeling their pain when they stumble, and weeping with joy when you not only realize that the world isn't against YOU, it's against EVERYONE who lives in it, but also when you realize that in the grand scheme of things, not only does our happiness and suffering not matter to the world, but that things can turn out okay anyway.

People always told me I had yet to find out how things 'really worked', and it's through these loving friends and the peace and struggles they've had, that I can rest secure in the knowledge that while I don't know everything, I was right all along. But you don't have to know anything to be right, you just are

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(Background: kaya's' kid Jes dropped out of school a few years ago. Afterward, she got pregnant, kept the baby, and has continued to be a general irresponsible teenager in spite of her new responsibilities)

I told y’all I wish I didn’t have to worry but I do. Jes doesn’t make the right choices. What am I supposed to do? Hope for the best? I watch the news, dude. Hope doesn’t save a kid- action does. She knows she’s welcome to live here, she just doesn’t want to have live within our boundaries and expectations. She really ties my hands sometimes.

And then she wonders why Babygirl is starting to exhibit signs of ‘issues’. She’s clingy (people tend to randomly disappear out of her life, with no warning (to her). Her daddy, who lived with her and mommy for 5 months suddenly disappeared and she hasn’t seen him since. Me and Pampah, who she lived with since birth, randomly disappear and reappear. Mommy disappears for days at a time. Her great-beebaw and pampah who she also lived with for 5 months suddenly disappeared.) Of course she’s clingy. She never knows when, or if, she’s going to see anyone again!

She doesn’t sleep through the night anymore, waking up crying out and going on frantic searches to find a familiar face and to “hold my hand!” before she’ll go back to sleep. She has nightmares (I think, judging on how she fusses and whimpers in her sleep throughout the night). Of course, she’s sleeping in a different house, different bed, stranger’s houses and strange beds, on an all-too frequent basis, as Jes sees no problem with dragging Babygirl off with her to spend the night with this friend or that friend, people who Baby has never even seen before.

Her toys get left here and there, or she’s forced to share with kids she’s never met and she never gets the toy back. Not that I think she shouldn’t learn to share- it’s not that. But kids needs a sense of ownership, too. I hate it when Jes takes off with one of the toys because I will likely never see it again (that goes double for clothes, shoes, coats, cups, etc.) I don’t let her take anything from here that I bought anymore. The one constant that Babygirl has is her stuff here, she knows exactly where it is, what it is, and that it will always be here, in one piece or all together.

She is such a smart, polite, amazing little girl. I don’t want to see that ruined. M’s about ready to call a lawyer, as am I. He told me just yesterday that he’d gladly sacrifice another 18 years if it means Babygirl is safe, happy and healthy.

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Response to the above: Please kaya don’t hesitate to take control of your baby granddaughter. I speak from experience I to thought “Mom” would grow up, get smart,and be a parent. My grandbaby is with the angels now and I blame myself for not doing what I kept telling everyone I was going to do if it didn’t improve. I was too late don’t be

Please

quick version Mom was off always staying wth friends and I watch the little one well 1 weekend I took off for some me time with hubby and she left Toby age 9 months with some “friends” so she could party and no-one knows if he cried to much or what so they put him in a nearby empty apt and left him. He choked and died. and the worst is while the “babysitter” did some time Mom went on her merry way because she was not to blame and now has another child I’ve never seen.

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CK:  when I'm trying to be nice or joke around a bit because I'm bored they don't seem to want to interact with me very much. It's not like I'm cold or anything. I try to be nice and friendly. But if it's not about work then they don't really want to talk to me unless I'm the only one in the vicinity. It's not just my job though. It's happened most of my life as far as other girls are concerned. I sometimes wonder if that's why I became such a tom boy and why I'm more comfortable hanging out with guys. 

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From Kendra Holliday

Can something as traumatic as rape ever be chalked up as a simple misunderstanding? How come so many “rapists” appear baffled at the suggestion that they have done something terribly wrong? 

...

After our talk, I wandered off the stage in a daze, where people hugged me and a line was forming.

They all wanted to share their story.

I listened to as many as I could. It was heart wrenching to confirm how many people have been raped multiple times in their life, from childhood on. According to RAINN, 44% of sexual assault and rape victims are under the age 18.

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(Excerpt from Le Petit Prince, via Mollena)

“My life is very monotonous,” the fox said. “I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the colour of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…”

....

The next day the little prince came back.

“It would have been better to come back at the same hour,” said the fox. “If, for example, you come at four o’clock in the afternoon, then at three o’clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o’clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you… One must observe the proper rites…”

“What is a rite?” asked the little prince.

“Those also are actions too often neglected,” said the fox. “They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all.”