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Tuesday, October 5

30 Days of Truth - A Letter to Someone I Wish Would Forgive Me

Dear self

Calm the fuck down. None of this is your fault, and there's nothing you could have done about it. I know, that so much has happened that we had ZERO control over, and that it sometimes seems absurd how much of it wasn't your fault. I know sometimes it feels like shoving off the blame, but sometimes there really ISN'T any blame on your shoulders. Just because your family kept telling you that you were just projecting, doesn't mean that they weren't doing the same.

It's okay to like the pain

It's okay to give in

Someday, I hope I don't have to fight with myself about what I do and don't love. Someday, I hope to be able to proudly admit the things I enjoy, even love, to myself without the shadow of abuse hanging over my head. I want to be able to enjoy things that scare me because I know I'll enjoy them.

I'm sorry I can't do that yet, but you'll get there sooner than you expect. After all, you've made pretty good progress for five years.

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