SO. It's uh...
it's been a while
Stuff's been... well, busy would be an understatement. Heinous, perhaps. So at the beginning of August, Ghost enlisted with the military, with a ship date of 3 weeks later. Not a whole lot of time to prepare for him to leave. For those of you who haven't been here before, I tend to lose most of my mobility in winter (the time when he'll be gone). This year my body's indicating mid-October, hopefully loosening up enough to go see him graduate in early November. He *might* come home for part of Christmas break. Otherwise... I probably won't be seeing him until February :< Even then there's no guarantee, they might just send him straight to his next duty station and leave me to move everything up to him ~_~ which, it being February... I won't exactly be capable of doing.
I have a doctor's appointment at the beginning of October. I'm going to try and get diagnosed while he's away. If I'm successful, the military has a program they can put me on that will ensure that we'll never be very far from eachother or a military base that has the care I'll need.
So for the past month and a half I've been doing all the stuff he does: the cooking, the errands, the cleaning I can't usually do, all with varying (and increasing) levels of excruciating pain. The upside is this will at least make it easier to get diagnosed -_- I've been working less as the weather gets colder, mostly because I can't. Since I stopped smoking pot in July, I've definitely been feeling the effects of the weather earlier than I usually do. Last year the pain was worse than it had been the previous year, with me almost completely unable to move by February, even with a gram a day, so I'm not sure how long I'll be able to do much of anything mid-November.
I know I don't make a huge deal out of my birthday, mostly because it doesn't really matter, but it saddens me that he won't be around for mine this year. Probably because he also wasn't around for our anniversary, either.
Sadfox
Saturday, September 24
Friday, July 22
Messages from the Universe
Last night I had a dream, that FORTUNATELY, shied away from the recent trope of 'hey, let's panic in my dreams!' I wouldn't say my sleep was restful, as I only got maybe 5 hours, but that's more than I've had in a while. I've been on edge for a little over 8 months straight, which has been wearing on me, both mentally and physically.
The dream I had last night, while it was largely dissimilar from every other dream (that wasn't a message), was very clear in its meanings, clear enough that I didn't need to be awake to decipher it.
I won't type the whole thing out, because it probably won't make sense to many of you, though it was quite clear to me. But the message itself...
The dream I had last night, while it was largely dissimilar from every other dream (that wasn't a message), was very clear in its meanings, clear enough that I didn't need to be awake to decipher it.
I won't type the whole thing out, because it probably won't make sense to many of you, though it was quite clear to me. But the message itself...
Monday, July 18
The wisdom of friends: Snippets from their lives that help me learn about mine
So, most of you have probably noticed I have friends from all sorts of walks of life. And I learn from them. Below are some recent snippets of their lives that have helped me delve myself. These friends have taught me a lot, and with many of them I had the added, amazing advantage of being able to read years and years of their lives before we ever actually met, and some of them have done the same for me. As a result, I have the wonderful benefit of having people who, while they may not understand me completely, have understood me more completely than the people who thought they knew me best. With most of the people I grew up with, I was always berated for my ideas, and my opinions, and how they thought I thought I knew everything. I've never claimed to, which is why I read forums, blogs, social networks, all pertaining to things that have NOTHING in common with me, because you really can't understand someone else until you walk in their shoes, holding their hands as a ghost of their future, feeling their pain when they stumble, and weeping with joy when you not only realize that the world isn't against YOU, it's against EVERYONE who lives in it, but also when you realize that in the grand scheme of things, not only does our happiness and suffering not matter to the world, but that things can turn out okay anyway.
People always told me I had yet to find out how things 'really worked', and it's through these loving friends and the peace and struggles they've had, that I can rest secure in the knowledge that while I don't know everything, I was right all along. But you don't have to know anything to be right, you just are
------
(Background: kaya's' kid Jes dropped out of school a few years ago. Afterward, she got pregnant, kept the baby, and has continued to be a general irresponsible teenager in spite of her new responsibilities)
I told y’all I wish I didn’t have to worry but I do. Jes doesn’t make the right choices. What am I supposed to do? Hope for the best? I watch the news, dude. Hope doesn’t save a kid- action does. She knows she’s welcome to live here, she just doesn’t want to have live within our boundaries and expectations. She really ties my hands sometimes.
And then she wonders why Babygirl is starting to exhibit signs of ‘issues’. She’s clingy (people tend to randomly disappear out of her life, with no warning (to her). Her daddy, who lived with her and mommy for 5 months suddenly disappeared and she hasn’t seen him since. Me and Pampah, who she lived with since birth, randomly disappear and reappear. Mommy disappears for days at a time. Her great-beebaw and pampah who she also lived with for 5 months suddenly disappeared.) Of course she’s clingy. She never knows when, or if, she’s going to see anyone again!
She doesn’t sleep through the night anymore, waking up crying out and going on frantic searches to find a familiar face and to “hold my hand!” before she’ll go back to sleep. She has nightmares (I think, judging on how she fusses and whimpers in her sleep throughout the night). Of course, she’s sleeping in a different house, different bed, stranger’s houses and strange beds, on an all-too frequent basis, as Jes sees no problem with dragging Babygirl off with her to spend the night with this friend or that friend, people who Baby has never even seen before.
Her toys get left here and there, or she’s forced to share with kids she’s never met and she never gets the toy back. Not that I think she shouldn’t learn to share- it’s not that. But kids needs a sense of ownership, too. I hate it when Jes takes off with one of the toys because I will likely never see it again (that goes double for clothes, shoes, coats, cups, etc.) I don’t let her take anything from here that I bought anymore. The one constant that Babygirl has is her stuff here, she knows exactly where it is, what it is, and that it will always be here, in one piece or all together.
She is such a smart, polite, amazing little girl. I don’t want to see that ruined. M’s about ready to call a lawyer, as am I. He told me just yesterday that he’d gladly sacrifice another 18 years if it means Babygirl is safe, happy and healthy.
---
Response to the above: Please kaya don’t hesitate to take control of your baby granddaughter. I speak from experience I to thought “Mom” would grow up, get smart,and be a parent. My grandbaby is with the angels now and I blame myself for not doing what I kept telling everyone I was going to do if it didn’t improve. I was too late don’t be
Please
quick version Mom was off always staying wth friends and I watch the little one well 1 weekend I took off for some me time with hubby and she left Toby age 9 months with some “friends” so she could party and no-one knows if he cried to much or what so they put him in a nearby empty apt and left him. He choked and died. and the worst is while the “babysitter” did some time Mom went on her merry way because she was not to blame and now has another child I’ve never seen.
-----
CK: when I'm trying to be nice or joke around a bit because I'm bored they don't seem to want to interact with me very much. It's not like I'm cold or anything. I try to be nice and friendly. But if it's not about work then they don't really want to talk to me unless I'm the only one in the vicinity. It's not just my job though. It's happened most of my life as far as other girls are concerned. I sometimes wonder if that's why I became such a tom boy and why I'm more comfortable hanging out with guys.
----
From Kendra Holliday
Can something as traumatic as rape ever be chalked up as a simple misunderstanding? How come so many “rapists” appear baffled at the suggestion that they have done something terribly wrong?
...
After our talk, I wandered off the stage in a daze, where people hugged me and a line was forming.
They all wanted to share their story.
I listened to as many as I could. It was heart wrenching to confirm how many people have been raped multiple times in their life, from childhood on. According to RAINN, 44% of sexual assault and rape victims are under the age 18.
-----
(Excerpt from Le Petit Prince, via Mollena)
“My life is very monotonous,” the fox said. “I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the colour of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…”
....
The next day the little prince came back.
“It would have been better to come back at the same hour,” said the fox. “If, for example, you come at four o’clock in the afternoon, then at three o’clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o’clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you… One must observe the proper rites…”
“What is a rite?” asked the little prince.
“Those also are actions too often neglected,” said the fox. “They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all.”
Wednesday, June 29
50 Kinds of Kink: Biting
She never took charge. That's why his jaw dropped when she gave him a devilish look, eyes smouldering as she headed straight up the stairs, pausing at the top and cocking her head. He stumbled a bit as he ran after her, slipping along the way.
He arrived in the door to see her lying on the fainting couch, a filmy dark fabric draped in a way that accentuated each curve. It had the slightest sheerness to it, he noted, glancing at her barely-visible nipple. Her wicked smile beckoned him, and he sauntered over, kneeling at her side.
He moved to catch her lips in his, but she turned her head, so that her lips were at his ear. "Make me cum using only your mouth" she whispered, catching him off-guard. He smirked at how brazen she was, caressing the back of her head with his hand. Suddenly her hair was clenched in his fist, and he pulled back sharply, exposing her throat.
"If that's how you're going to be.... I'll have to show you who's truly in charge, won't I?"
Her hands reached up to pull his hands free of her hair, only to be ensnared by the very strands she had intended to rescue. He took a moment, finding a short length of rope with which to secure her that way.
He stood back to admire his handiwork, obviously pleased. His hand clasped the edge of the cloth that covered her, and he pulled it off, slowly. It rolled off of her skin, a silky whisper against her nipple, he noticed. He thought it was rather pretty.
His love lay stark against the bright blue fabric, still with that naughty smile and unusual self-assuredness. He simply couldn't resist, and kissed her all over, starting at her rosy, pouty lips and moving slowly, so painfully slowly it hurt, down the length of her body.
She squirmed when the lightest touch of his lips grazed across her nipple, when his breath hit the curve of her breast... She was flushed as he made his way back up her collarbone, up the arch of her neck, and placed the lightest of them all beneath her ear where the lobe met her face. A sharp inhale told him he was winning, and he grinned madly.
His mouth descended towards her ear a second time, taking the lobe gently between his teeth. Midway through her appreciative groan, he bit down, forcing free a yelp. Now his beast had been freed, and it was hungry. His lips touched her collar bone again, teeth sinking in roughly at her throat. Nervous, she stopped breathing, looking at him with wide eyes while her pulse pattered frightenedly in his mouth. He let go, smirking before he continued his assault. A trail of red blossomed up where he touched, first kiss-biting the curve of each tit, wrapping around them in a sensuous pain that ended with a sharp nip at the tip of her nipple. The whole time she squirmed, unable to do anything with her hands tied up in her hair.
He trailed down further, sharp bites lining her torso to her bellybutton, and further. When he got between her legs, he almost lost himself, seeing her glisten in front of him. He buried his face in her, turning his predatory eyes up at her as he nuzzled the crook of the joint where hip and leg meet.
Then suddenly he was biting again, all around her thighs, beneath them, close to that spot, no that one spot he shouldn't--! Her back arched as she came without warning, semicircular marks patterning the inside of her legs and thighs, her clit in his mouth between his teeth where he bit ever-so-gently.
She panted as he rose, an indeterminate expression across her face.
"Now, who's in charge love?"
He arrived in the door to see her lying on the fainting couch, a filmy dark fabric draped in a way that accentuated each curve. It had the slightest sheerness to it, he noted, glancing at her barely-visible nipple. Her wicked smile beckoned him, and he sauntered over, kneeling at her side.
He moved to catch her lips in his, but she turned her head, so that her lips were at his ear. "Make me cum using only your mouth" she whispered, catching him off-guard. He smirked at how brazen she was, caressing the back of her head with his hand. Suddenly her hair was clenched in his fist, and he pulled back sharply, exposing her throat.
"If that's how you're going to be.... I'll have to show you who's truly in charge, won't I?"
Her hands reached up to pull his hands free of her hair, only to be ensnared by the very strands she had intended to rescue. He took a moment, finding a short length of rope with which to secure her that way.
He stood back to admire his handiwork, obviously pleased. His hand clasped the edge of the cloth that covered her, and he pulled it off, slowly. It rolled off of her skin, a silky whisper against her nipple, he noticed. He thought it was rather pretty.
His love lay stark against the bright blue fabric, still with that naughty smile and unusual self-assuredness. He simply couldn't resist, and kissed her all over, starting at her rosy, pouty lips and moving slowly, so painfully slowly it hurt, down the length of her body.
She squirmed when the lightest touch of his lips grazed across her nipple, when his breath hit the curve of her breast... She was flushed as he made his way back up her collarbone, up the arch of her neck, and placed the lightest of them all beneath her ear where the lobe met her face. A sharp inhale told him he was winning, and he grinned madly.
His mouth descended towards her ear a second time, taking the lobe gently between his teeth. Midway through her appreciative groan, he bit down, forcing free a yelp. Now his beast had been freed, and it was hungry. His lips touched her collar bone again, teeth sinking in roughly at her throat. Nervous, she stopped breathing, looking at him with wide eyes while her pulse pattered frightenedly in his mouth. He let go, smirking before he continued his assault. A trail of red blossomed up where he touched, first kiss-biting the curve of each tit, wrapping around them in a sensuous pain that ended with a sharp nip at the tip of her nipple. The whole time she squirmed, unable to do anything with her hands tied up in her hair.
He trailed down further, sharp bites lining her torso to her bellybutton, and further. When he got between her legs, he almost lost himself, seeing her glisten in front of him. He buried his face in her, turning his predatory eyes up at her as he nuzzled the crook of the joint where hip and leg meet.
Then suddenly he was biting again, all around her thighs, beneath them, close to that spot, no that one spot he shouldn't--! Her back arched as she came without warning, semicircular marks patterning the inside of her legs and thighs, her clit in his mouth between his teeth where he bit ever-so-gently.
She panted as he rose, an indeterminate expression across her face.
"Now, who's in charge love?"
Wednesday, June 22
ffffff
>_>
I know the new 50 Kinds of Kink post was supposed to go up yesterday, but frankly, I've not really felt like writing the past week or so. Lots of...interesting stress has popped up. Some of it ought to be nullifying other stresses, but the human body doesn't work like that. So instead, I'll sit and stare at prompts.txt, and glare at it for a while, maybe flesh in some more details, or flesh out the prompts so I fucking HAVE SOMETHING TO GO ON (the real challenge of this is working with prompts; I hate them, I've always been terrible at writing when they're involved and goddammit they are so vague, I hate vague, I hate it so much)
I've been doing a lot of amusing, interesting video and show requests, but apparently the current layout at Lady.Spookfox is too complicated for a large portion of my prospective customers. >_> So I'm tidying up to make it look more professional, and HOPEFULLY more clear. Which also means more pages.
SO, the current page structure idea goes like this:
Home
|
Rules > Will do/won't do > Etiquette(ffffffff)> Payment process > Payment options (including elaborations on vouchers because apparently something that's basically a gift card is too fucking complicated when men are hard and a giant sign declaring "NO REFUNDS YOU JACKASS")
|
Services offered > Pricing
|
Contact/Find me online
|
Links/banners etc
can you guys think of anything else that needs to be added?
I know the new 50 Kinds of Kink post was supposed to go up yesterday, but frankly, I've not really felt like writing the past week or so. Lots of...interesting stress has popped up. Some of it ought to be nullifying other stresses, but the human body doesn't work like that. So instead, I'll sit and stare at prompts.txt, and glare at it for a while, maybe flesh in some more details, or flesh out the prompts so I fucking HAVE SOMETHING TO GO ON (the real challenge of this is working with prompts; I hate them, I've always been terrible at writing when they're involved and goddammit they are so vague, I hate vague, I hate it so much)
I've been doing a lot of amusing, interesting video and show requests, but apparently the current layout at Lady.Spookfox is too complicated for a large portion of my prospective customers. >_> So I'm tidying up to make it look more professional, and HOPEFULLY more clear. Which also means more pages.
SO, the current page structure idea goes like this:
Home
|
Rules > Will do/won't do > Etiquette(ffffffff)> Payment process > Payment options (including elaborations on vouchers because apparently something that's basically a gift card is too fucking complicated when men are hard and a giant sign declaring "NO REFUNDS YOU JACKASS")
|
Services offered > Pricing
|
Contact/Find me online
|
Links/banners etc
can you guys think of anything else that needs to be added?
Wednesday, June 15
50 Kinds of Kink: Spanking
~I'm not the one in trouble~, she sang merrily in her head as she skipped out of the room with the bucket. The Mistress of the house, also head slave, had been provoking the Master quite a bit lately, and he'd finally had enough of it. He'd sent her lady-in-waiting out to fetch cold water, and it made her completely giddy. In the whole time she'd served them, she'd never seen the Mistress punished and was ecstatic for such a rare treat!
It took her a few minutes to let the bucket fill well enough, and she was sweating from the pump by that time. While the house was modernized, the lady insisted on having a natural cistern to keep water cool, and now it would backfire! What a great day!
She lugged the bucket back into the room, to see the Mistress bent over and tied to a sawhorse. Upon hearing her maid's return, she growled in warning, only to be silenced with a swat on the backside from her mate.
In his other hand he held a simple leather paddle, two pieces of leather bound together only at the edge that met the steel handle. He bid the maid to place the bucket at the head of the sawhorse, and dramatically dropped the paddle in the water in front of his wife's glowering face.
He stared her down until he was satisfied that it had gathered enough water, and unflinchingly plunged his hand into the water, coming up with the cold, soaked paddle.
He paced around her slowly, a circle forming in the droplets from the instrument, and suddenly he struck. The weight of the leather was multiplied by the water and she yelped, turning her head to snarl at him. He quickly moved to her side, fisting his left hand in her hair and shoving her head back down.
"No."
He held her there by here hair, making multiple strokes on her ass, his speed only hampered by its unusual weight. Water splattered its cold trail along her body with each stroke, washing over her in what felt like waves at impact. Her flesh rippled in retaliation, mimicking the waves in the bucket. Each stroke left a large red welt, and strong as she was, it took only a dozen strokes before she had relaxed into the sawhorse, sobbing in submission.
"Never again sir, I promise!"
It took her a few minutes to let the bucket fill well enough, and she was sweating from the pump by that time. While the house was modernized, the lady insisted on having a natural cistern to keep water cool, and now it would backfire! What a great day!
She lugged the bucket back into the room, to see the Mistress bent over and tied to a sawhorse. Upon hearing her maid's return, she growled in warning, only to be silenced with a swat on the backside from her mate.
In his other hand he held a simple leather paddle, two pieces of leather bound together only at the edge that met the steel handle. He bid the maid to place the bucket at the head of the sawhorse, and dramatically dropped the paddle in the water in front of his wife's glowering face.
He stared her down until he was satisfied that it had gathered enough water, and unflinchingly plunged his hand into the water, coming up with the cold, soaked paddle.
He paced around her slowly, a circle forming in the droplets from the instrument, and suddenly he struck. The weight of the leather was multiplied by the water and she yelped, turning her head to snarl at him. He quickly moved to her side, fisting his left hand in her hair and shoving her head back down.
"No."
He held her there by here hair, making multiple strokes on her ass, his speed only hampered by its unusual weight. Water splattered its cold trail along her body with each stroke, washing over her in what felt like waves at impact. Her flesh rippled in retaliation, mimicking the waves in the bucket. Each stroke left a large red welt, and strong as she was, it took only a dozen strokes before she had relaxed into the sawhorse, sobbing in submission.
"Never again sir, I promise!"
Thursday, June 9
50 Kinds of Kink: Crossdressing
He glowered at the stack of clothes in his hands. She loved taking him shopping. His frame was slender for a guy, which MUST have been why she enjoyed doing this. He grumbled as he held up a shirt, her giggles from outside the door tickling his ears.
She never shopped for things in his size; Always hers. She loved it, picking out clothes she'd love to wear and forcing him to try them on. Worst of all, she bought almost everything.
He tugged his own shirt over his head, his masculine form in the mirror seemingly mocking him. He pulled the girl's shirt over his head with some effort, sighing in relief when his head popped through. He jammed the arms in the holes, wincing at the warning creak of the fabric stretching as far as it could.
He looked in the mirror, his face flushed almost to matching the pink of the shirt, decorated as a sports jersey with the number 04. He didn't even know what that meant, or if it was a random number. Not like it mattered anyway, he guessed.
He dropped his pants, and sighed in shame at the reminder of the silk panties he was wearing. "Right..." He forgot every time, the reminder making him flush at how comfortable they were, comfortable enough that he consistently forgot about them.
The last thing he had to put on was a stupid short plaid skirt. It would have been nice if -she'd- tried it on instead, but that wasn't very likely to happen. With a sigh, he resigned himself to stepping into it, chanting all the while in his head 'almost done, just this and you can go and no one will know' as his personal mantra.
The skirt fit over his hips okay, but there was difficulty in zipping it up. He gave it a harsh tug and yelped, causing an explosion of laughter from the girl outside. The muttering grew slightly harsher as he examined the zipper, paling at what he saw:
Not only had it snagged, but it had snagged in the hair on his ass. He -definitely- needed help.
Fuck.
She never shopped for things in his size; Always hers. She loved it, picking out clothes she'd love to wear and forcing him to try them on. Worst of all, she bought almost everything.
He tugged his own shirt over his head, his masculine form in the mirror seemingly mocking him. He pulled the girl's shirt over his head with some effort, sighing in relief when his head popped through. He jammed the arms in the holes, wincing at the warning creak of the fabric stretching as far as it could.
He looked in the mirror, his face flushed almost to matching the pink of the shirt, decorated as a sports jersey with the number 04. He didn't even know what that meant, or if it was a random number. Not like it mattered anyway, he guessed.
He dropped his pants, and sighed in shame at the reminder of the silk panties he was wearing. "Right..." He forgot every time, the reminder making him flush at how comfortable they were, comfortable enough that he consistently forgot about them.
The last thing he had to put on was a stupid short plaid skirt. It would have been nice if -she'd- tried it on instead, but that wasn't very likely to happen. With a sigh, he resigned himself to stepping into it, chanting all the while in his head 'almost done, just this and you can go and no one will know' as his personal mantra.
The skirt fit over his hips okay, but there was difficulty in zipping it up. He gave it a harsh tug and yelped, causing an explosion of laughter from the girl outside. The muttering grew slightly harsher as he examined the zipper, paling at what he saw:
Not only had it snagged, but it had snagged in the hair on his ass. He -definitely- needed help.
Fuck.
Friday, June 3
50 Kinds of Kink: Rituals
In her sleep she gave a quiet moan, rolling over to press her back against him. No more awake, his body responded, adjusting so that his arms held her close against his chest. His cock stirred, waking him up with it.
His eyes cracked, to see the top of her head, silky hair mussed by the pillow he'd given her last night. She gave another little squirm in her sleep, pressing her hips back against him for more contact.
His cock was the first one to notice how wet she was, its length just barely brushing against her opening as he cuddled into her warmth. Another moan, another little writhe, and the wetness coated the head of his cock. He carefully maneuvered, slipping his arm over her to just barely tease her entrance. He pulled his finger away after judging it wet enough, pressing the digit against his lips, basking in her smell and taste. He almost wanted to lap it up, but no, later.
Despite his longing, his hips pulled away from hers, giving him just enough room to wipe the juices on her less-frequently used hole, coaxing his finger in gently with her own lubrication. The next moan that came was definitely more awake, though she said nothing. She only arched her back, accentuating the swell of her hips as she offered her pert ass, more eager than she would ever otherwise admit.
He took her offering with pure glee, wrapping his hands around her hips and tugging her onto him. He pulled slowly until she was pressed fully against her, basking in the feeling of her tightness against him. A hand wrapped around to tease its fingers against her soaked cunt. She always reacted like this, every morning. In a practiced motion he put his fingers in his mouth, looking her straight in the eyes. Her blush went down to her chest, spreading further when he pressed his mouth to hers, giving her a taste of herself.
Once his lip touched hers he began pumping, hips rocking forward at the same time as he pulled her back to slam himself into her ass, whimpers of enjoyment coming from her at each stroke. It never took him long in the mornings, not with what her submission did to him. It drove him mad, and he restrained himself from biting, just for today. But oh, to feel her come around him.... He emptied a flood into her ass, rolling so that he was on top of her while still pinning her with his body. From the nightstand he drew a glass plug, the circumference the same as that of the head buried so deeply in his wife. He withdrew himself, biting his lip at the new sensitivity, and ever-so-carefully nestled the plug between her cheeks.
"Good girl," he told her, kissing the back of her head.
"Good morning, Master."
His eyes cracked, to see the top of her head, silky hair mussed by the pillow he'd given her last night. She gave another little squirm in her sleep, pressing her hips back against him for more contact.
His cock was the first one to notice how wet she was, its length just barely brushing against her opening as he cuddled into her warmth. Another moan, another little writhe, and the wetness coated the head of his cock. He carefully maneuvered, slipping his arm over her to just barely tease her entrance. He pulled his finger away after judging it wet enough, pressing the digit against his lips, basking in her smell and taste. He almost wanted to lap it up, but no, later.
Despite his longing, his hips pulled away from hers, giving him just enough room to wipe the juices on her less-frequently used hole, coaxing his finger in gently with her own lubrication. The next moan that came was definitely more awake, though she said nothing. She only arched her back, accentuating the swell of her hips as she offered her pert ass, more eager than she would ever otherwise admit.
He took her offering with pure glee, wrapping his hands around her hips and tugging her onto him. He pulled slowly until she was pressed fully against her, basking in the feeling of her tightness against him. A hand wrapped around to tease its fingers against her soaked cunt. She always reacted like this, every morning. In a practiced motion he put his fingers in his mouth, looking her straight in the eyes. Her blush went down to her chest, spreading further when he pressed his mouth to hers, giving her a taste of herself.
Once his lip touched hers he began pumping, hips rocking forward at the same time as he pulled her back to slam himself into her ass, whimpers of enjoyment coming from her at each stroke. It never took him long in the mornings, not with what her submission did to him. It drove him mad, and he restrained himself from biting, just for today. But oh, to feel her come around him.... He emptied a flood into her ass, rolling so that he was on top of her while still pinning her with his body. From the nightstand he drew a glass plug, the circumference the same as that of the head buried so deeply in his wife. He withdrew himself, biting his lip at the new sensitivity, and ever-so-carefully nestled the plug between her cheeks.
"Good girl," he told her, kissing the back of her head.
"Good morning, Master."
Wednesday, May 25
Hecate
I don't get to domme people[mostly boys/men] very often anymore. Especially living in such a small town. It's a shame, I miss it a lot. Having things bought for me because I told them to, being given money whenever I demanded it, people to bite and scratch and deny as I pleased....
I haven't heard about other dommes who have a style like mine. The majority of them treat a boy with disdain and cruelty at every point of contact. Me? I am cold to you, with the occasional streak of cruelty that mostly shows up in anger or frustration. Sometimes it blossoms into an unlikely Zen of Violence that will leave us both panting. Praise is given objectively. It doesn't matter whether you completed it most of the way, you have failed. Yes, now, give me the money I demanded. I will unflinchingly pull it from your flesh if you fight me. You know I do not tolerate disobedience, that is why you're nothing but a shadow. Give me your blood as amends, I want to taste your pain.
I think of most people as tools. Not in the derogatory way, but in an objective way. People are tools, a screwdriver is a tool, a crowbar is a tool... Like that. Some people have little use. Some are suited only for service, some are only suited for back-of-the-house work. Some people can only do physical labor, and some people can only do numbers. And just as factually, some people are only good for making other people happy. I mean, hells, as a priestess, I get used as a tool by most of the people I've seen in the past year. Advice, an objective ear, a cook, an organizer, and one hell of a delegatrix.
In return, it's your job to be my tool. I will use you as you're needed, and maybe for things you never expected. And by the time I'm done with you, you'll be ready to crumble.
Seattle will never see me coming...
I haven't heard about other dommes who have a style like mine. The majority of them treat a boy with disdain and cruelty at every point of contact. Me? I am cold to you, with the occasional streak of cruelty that mostly shows up in anger or frustration. Sometimes it blossoms into an unlikely Zen of Violence that will leave us both panting. Praise is given objectively. It doesn't matter whether you completed it most of the way, you have failed. Yes, now, give me the money I demanded. I will unflinchingly pull it from your flesh if you fight me. You know I do not tolerate disobedience, that is why you're nothing but a shadow. Give me your blood as amends, I want to taste your pain.
I think of most people as tools. Not in the derogatory way, but in an objective way. People are tools, a screwdriver is a tool, a crowbar is a tool... Like that. Some people have little use. Some are suited only for service, some are only suited for back-of-the-house work. Some people can only do physical labor, and some people can only do numbers. And just as factually, some people are only good for making other people happy. I mean, hells, as a priestess, I get used as a tool by most of the people I've seen in the past year. Advice, an objective ear, a cook, an organizer, and one hell of a delegatrix.
In return, it's your job to be my tool. I will use you as you're needed, and maybe for things you never expected. And by the time I'm done with you, you'll be ready to crumble.
Seattle will never see me coming...
Sunday, May 22
Time and I have always had a... strange relationship. I've had friends in different timezones since I was 12 or 13, so I'm pretty good with them now. Britain's usually 6 hours ahead of me, my friends on the West Coast 2 behind. My friends in Canada ahead 1, and Japan 14-15 hours ahead.
But...I don't *feel* time like a lot of people do. An hour and a day can feel the same, and waking up in the morning is just a continuation of the previous day with a newly-risen sun. It flows around me, barely touching me, while I see it caress those I know well. I get to see my distant friends change, grow, and many are starting families. It sort of freaks me out, because I'm still the same. It's strange to see people who've literally fought for what they believe in crumble beneath the weight of the choices they've made, or, worse, to see them give up on things entirely. I have a friend who, while we were in school, complaining that her boyfriend wanted a handfasting, and she thought that was too much commitment. Next time I'm in contact with her, she has a child by the same person, something she was vehemently against just a couple of years before. I have friends with military husbands on overseas assignments. I have friends who ARE military husbands on overseas assignments.
Meanwhile, to me, the past is as close as something that happened five minutes ago, I just can't remember it. Pretty much everything I feel feels the same as it always has. Things that hurt still hurt, and will always hurt, and won't fade. Neither will the good, though it may become eclipsed. It makes many things a struggle, especially in darker times.
But for me... even though things around me have changed, I haven't. If I have to, I'll be the last uncompromising person out there, because someone has to be.
But...I don't *feel* time like a lot of people do. An hour and a day can feel the same, and waking up in the morning is just a continuation of the previous day with a newly-risen sun. It flows around me, barely touching me, while I see it caress those I know well. I get to see my distant friends change, grow, and many are starting families. It sort of freaks me out, because I'm still the same. It's strange to see people who've literally fought for what they believe in crumble beneath the weight of the choices they've made, or, worse, to see them give up on things entirely. I have a friend who, while we were in school, complaining that her boyfriend wanted a handfasting, and she thought that was too much commitment. Next time I'm in contact with her, she has a child by the same person, something she was vehemently against just a couple of years before. I have friends with military husbands on overseas assignments. I have friends who ARE military husbands on overseas assignments.
Meanwhile, to me, the past is as close as something that happened five minutes ago, I just can't remember it. Pretty much everything I feel feels the same as it always has. Things that hurt still hurt, and will always hurt, and won't fade. Neither will the good, though it may become eclipsed. It makes many things a struggle, especially in darker times.
But for me... even though things around me have changed, I haven't. If I have to, I'll be the last uncompromising person out there, because someone has to be.
Monday, May 9
It's a really rainy day today. I woke up with a sky the color of pale wet turquoise, and no sun. I'm okay with that, since morning sun just aggravates my allergies. Worse even than a noontime sun, but I digress. I got to hear thunder in my shower, since there's an open attic space next to it. It was so tranquil that I stopped paying attention to the water, but I managed to get out before it got too cold. I've never showered during a thunderstorm, not when I could hear it anyway. It's nice. It makes me even more excited for Seattle, because the rain and I get along just as well as the night and I do. It's nice to have surroundings you agree with, and that agree with you. <3 On that note, I'm doing that Thing I Like To Do, planning, in this case. Master and I have both wanted to live in Seattle for years. It's perfect for us both, and even though I've never been there, the more I read about it, and other people's experiences, the more it feels like home. The most walkable city in this country with some of the highest standards of living for a completely reasonable price... Full of friends I haven't seen in years and sexy kinky people I've never met... It feels like.... acceptance. I want to say I can't wait, but something about knowing exactly what will happen makes the trudging easier. I don't want to wait, but I don't have another choice, so I will wait patiently.
I was combing through my RSS reader this morning (oh god how I miss the Mac) and stumbled upon one of those silly little quizzes that the lovely Miss Madiera had done. I don't even remember the last time I did one of these, though I used to do them all the time when I was younger. I've become more adverse to sharing about myself, so I thought I'd step myself out of my comfort zone.
For those unaware, seme (seh-meh) is the equivalent to the dominant partner, while uke (ooh-keh) is the submissive.
30+ = Super Uke
21-30 = Uke
20 = Seme-uke (Seke)
10-19 = Seme
10- = Super Seme
[X] You like to be content in everything.
[X] When a person confesses their love to you and you don’t like them, you start feeling very tense and/or you don’t know what to say.
[X] You enjoy listening to smooth and relaxing music.
[--] You are quite hyperactive.
[ ] If you don’t like something, you start crying and you don’t care if you start talking too loud.
[X] You love candies or any type of caramel.
[X] You like making others blush.
[ ] You sleep with a doll/teddy bear/pilow in your hand.
[ ] You’re usually shy with the opposite gender.
[X] You like romantic-funny anime.
[?] Between L or Light cosplay, you prefer L. (I don't wanna cosplay either of these characters....)
[ ] You have listened to “an café”.
[ ] You like listening to it.
[ ] You have one or two songs on your computer of “an café”.
[X] You are innocent and/or a little clumsy.
[X] You smile at kitties.
[X] You usually say “kawaii”.
[X] You like plushies. ( Animu ones. )
[ ] Between light blue and blue, you prefer light blue.
[X] You hate Paris Hilton because she isan idiot a complete bint
[ ] You have been lost in a shopping centre/parking/cinema.
[ ] You have called the mistaken number twice or more.
[ ] You cried with Pocahontas’ ending.
[X] You have used a very feminine dress or shirt.
[X] You call your pets cute names. (Tai is all sorts of derivations, like Koneko-kun [elder kitten, respectful], Yama-san [Mr. Mountain], Yama-neko [Mountain cat], etc)
[1/2] You believe that yaoi is the best.
[ ] You’re easy to trick/convince.
[X] Some men scare you.
[ ] You have seen Pucca and you like it.
[ ] You have pink/red clothes and they are decorated with flowers. (No I do not. Period. Fullstop. The end.)
[ ] Sometimes you start looking at the clouds and you get lost in space.
[ ] You’ve said “kyao” or something like that before.
[X] When a person of the same gender gets angry with you, you’re at the defensive. (Bitches be crazy)
[X] You like j-pop. (I wanna be your gentleman~)
[X] You have cried for more than one movie/TV series. (NO ONE TELL MASTER)
[ ] You watched Gravitation and you felt like Shuichi or you watched Strawberry Panic and you felt like Nagisa.
[ ] You smile for no reason.
[ ] You usually are very positive.
[ ] When there’s a rainbow, you run out to see it.
[ ] You usually don’t understand what your parents say. (what does this even mean)
Score: 18 1/2
I haz a dominant. This was a lot....gayer of a quiz than expected.
I was combing through my RSS reader this morning (oh god how I miss the Mac) and stumbled upon one of those silly little quizzes that the lovely Miss Madiera had done. I don't even remember the last time I did one of these, though I used to do them all the time when I was younger. I've become more adverse to sharing about myself, so I thought I'd step myself out of my comfort zone.
For those unaware, seme (seh-meh) is the equivalent to the dominant partner, while uke (ooh-keh) is the submissive.
30+ = Super Uke
21-30 = Uke
20 = Seme-uke (Seke)
10-19 = Seme
10- = Super Seme
[X] You like to be content in everything.
[X] When a person confesses their love to you and you don’t like them, you start feeling very tense and/or you don’t know what to say.
[X] You enjoy listening to smooth and relaxing music.
[--] You are quite hyperactive.
[ ] If you don’t like something, you start crying and you don’t care if you start talking too loud.
[X] You love candies or any type of caramel.
[X] You like making others blush.
[ ] You sleep with a doll/teddy bear/pilow in your hand.
[ ] You’re usually shy with the opposite gender.
[X] You like romantic-funny anime.
[?] Between L or Light cosplay, you prefer L. (I don't wanna cosplay either of these characters....)
[ ] You have listened to “an café”.
[ ] You like listening to it.
[ ] You have one or two songs on your computer of “an café”.
[X] You are innocent and/or a little clumsy.
[X] You smile at kitties.
[X] You usually say “kawaii”.
[X] You like plushies. ( Animu ones. )
[ ] Between light blue and blue, you prefer light blue.
[X] You hate Paris Hilton because she is
[ ] You have been lost in a shopping centre/parking/cinema.
[ ] You have called the mistaken number twice or more.
[ ] You cried with Pocahontas’ ending.
[X] You have used a very feminine dress or shirt.
[X] You call your pets cute names. (Tai is all sorts of derivations, like Koneko-kun [elder kitten, respectful], Yama-san [Mr. Mountain], Yama-neko [Mountain cat], etc)
[1/2] You believe that yaoi is the best.
[ ] You’re easy to trick/convince.
[X] Some men scare you.
[ ] You have seen Pucca and you like it.
[ ] You have pink/red clothes and they are decorated with flowers. (No I do not. Period. Fullstop. The end.)
[ ] Sometimes you start looking at the clouds and you get lost in space.
[ ] You’ve said “kyao” or something like that before.
[X] When a person of the same gender gets angry with you, you’re at the defensive. (Bitches be crazy)
[X] You like j-pop. (I wanna be your gentleman~)
[X] You have cried for more than one movie/TV series. (NO ONE TELL MASTER)
[ ] You watched Gravitation and you felt like Shuichi or you watched Strawberry Panic and you felt like Nagisa.
[ ] You smile for no reason.
[ ] You usually are very positive.
[ ] When there’s a rainbow, you run out to see it.
[ ] You usually don’t understand what your parents say. (what does this even mean)
Score: 18 1/2
I haz a dominant. This was a lot....gayer of a quiz than expected.
Thursday, May 5
Soooo.... you guys are probably wondering what happened to me, huh? >_> I've just always had this apprehension about writing about my self as opposed to anything else, and given that my state of being is generally "pain pain pain with a side of financial stress" it sort of seems like a waste of internetspace. I'm trying to make myself be better about it, at least.... I don't know if it is working yet.
So Master has a steadyish job again (finally) and it's warming up enough that my body can finally function regularly. I hate when he doesn't have a job, the stress from ME, the crippled, sociophobic pet who doesn't even like being called a person, being the person who has to support us both, just exacerbates all of my physical problems especially in winter. bah humbug.
SO, for those of you who don't know, I've been working pretty diligently on Lady.Spookfox, which is basically my camming hub. It brings all my media together: camsites (so many now ;_;), photos, video clips, pervy things I am selling, etc. All these things have their own place, of course, but I like being able to bring them all together.
I was supposed to be on adultwork right now, but my computer's being a little weird so I'm running checks to make sure it's fine. It's probably not a real issue, but Spybot S&D is currently up to around 800 THOUSAND (aaaaaaa) things to watch out for, so this scan is taking forever.
I started on AdultWork last week, and while I'm still new to it, I'm finding I like this place better than others I've worked. MFC is just way too high energy. I've tried lotion shows, strip shows, self-shibari shows, caramel, oil, showers, tip for boobs, tip for tits, playing with my cat,being hyper and super happy and active, and maaaaaaaaaan. Just not worth it. I have no idea how the girls at the top GOT there in the first place, aside from what's technically breaking the rules. I don't really care what they do, but given that I am determined to do the things that others won't, my integrity's sort of biting me on the ass there. I don't even know what my camscore is, but the last few times I've gone on I've made approximately 25c. lol? So I think it may not be too much longer until I call it a loss and put up banners that link to my site so people can see where else I am. ... Not that I shouldn't do that anyway, I guess. Maybe I'd be doing that if this virus check wasn't eating my whole CPU.
As far as the writing thing goes, I'm nowhere near done. a wonderful mystery does have a definite end, but it won't be for a while. To get myself in the habit of dirty writing again, I've got a long long long list of fetish prompts that I found as part of a contest on LiveJournal. ...I don't remember how I actually got to it (fanfiction?), but it's a contest where basically you have 50 fetishes you need to write for a particular pairing of a particular fandom, and you get to choose who. I'm pretty interested in seeing the results, but I partly decided to do it because I feel I need to stretch my writing boundaries. And don't worry, this won't be another of those things that has a definite number of things I'm supposed to do and I sort of peter off.... No, I'm not even going to start posting them until I have at least six done, and I'm choosing them randomly. My OCD won't let me post them up out of order, so that should do it :D
So Master has a steadyish job again (finally) and it's warming up enough that my body can finally function regularly. I hate when he doesn't have a job, the stress from ME, the crippled, sociophobic pet who doesn't even like being called a person, being the person who has to support us both, just exacerbates all of my physical problems especially in winter. bah humbug.
SO, for those of you who don't know, I've been working pretty diligently on Lady.Spookfox, which is basically my camming hub. It brings all my media together: camsites (so many now ;_;), photos, video clips, pervy things I am selling, etc. All these things have their own place, of course, but I like being able to bring them all together.
I was supposed to be on adultwork right now, but my computer's being a little weird so I'm running checks to make sure it's fine. It's probably not a real issue, but Spybot S&D is currently up to around 800 THOUSAND (aaaaaaa) things to watch out for, so this scan is taking forever.
I started on AdultWork last week, and while I'm still new to it, I'm finding I like this place better than others I've worked. MFC is just way too high energy. I've tried lotion shows, strip shows, self-shibari shows, caramel, oil, showers, tip for boobs, tip for tits, playing with my cat,being hyper and super happy and active, and maaaaaaaaaan. Just not worth it. I have no idea how the girls at the top GOT there in the first place, aside from what's technically breaking the rules. I don't really care what they do, but given that I am determined to do the things that others won't, my integrity's sort of biting me on the ass there. I don't even know what my camscore is, but the last few times I've gone on I've made approximately 25c. lol? So I think it may not be too much longer until I call it a loss and put up banners that link to my site so people can see where else I am. ... Not that I shouldn't do that anyway, I guess. Maybe I'd be doing that if this virus check wasn't eating my whole CPU.
As far as the writing thing goes, I'm nowhere near done. a wonderful mystery does have a definite end, but it won't be for a while. To get myself in the habit of dirty writing again, I've got a long long long list of fetish prompts that I found as part of a contest on LiveJournal. ...I don't remember how I actually got to it (fanfiction?), but it's a contest where basically you have 50 fetishes you need to write for a particular pairing of a particular fandom, and you get to choose who. I'm pretty interested in seeing the results, but I partly decided to do it because I feel I need to stretch my writing boundaries. And don't worry, this won't be another of those things that has a definite number of things I'm supposed to do and I sort of peter off.... No, I'm not even going to start posting them until I have at least six done, and I'm choosing them randomly. My OCD won't let me post them up out of order, so that should do it :D
Friday, April 22
rain dance
I could never have expected it when she told me.
Somehow, in all of her travels, it was almost inconceivable that she had yet to encounter something so.... fundamental! One could almost comprehend, given that her childhood had largely taken place in a desert. But.... to never have seen rain?
Friday, March 25
Lessons I've learned as a god-child
- Sometimes the death of one is the same as the death of many
- This world is not for me, or for anyone here.
- Humans don't like to consider 'after'
- My problems, grand as they may be, are nothing. The world won't stop even when it feels it should
- The earth is spinning faster than we can keep up, maybe even on purpose
- I can't cry for myself, but I involuntarily cry for everyone else.
- Being a god-child sucks
- The people best suited for the jobs are never the ones who want it
Thursday, March 24
SO. Been superbusy lately. like D:
I hate being this busy. As some of you know, Master and I gotmarried signed our ownership papers last week. Most of the week up until that was preparing for family visits, because my dad, his dad, two of his siblings, and his best friend came up.
Preparations consisted mostly of cleaning and butchering chickens. See, my dad apparently decided that since there are NO restaurants I can eat at nearby (save for a single Mongolian grill the next town over and a couple of fast food restaurants.... no.....?) that we got to prepare a wedding feast! Of chicken wings and beer. Yaaaaaaaaay.
So we bought three chickens and had a friend bring over one that was just hanging out in our freezer, and I cut off all the best bits (sorry veg[an/etarian]s) to make boneless wings. The pre-prep mostly took care of things, fortunately. We did most of the work on Monday, and my dad flew in Tuesday (and boy were his ...-shot in the face-)
I hate being this busy. As some of you know, Master and I got
Preparations consisted mostly of cleaning and butchering chickens. See, my dad apparently decided that since there are NO restaurants I can eat at nearby (save for a single Mongolian grill the next town over and a couple of fast food restaurants.... no.....?) that we got to prepare a wedding feast! Of chicken wings and beer. Yaaaaaaaaay.
So we bought three chickens and had a friend bring over one that was just hanging out in our freezer, and I cut off all the best bits (sorry veg[an/etarian]s) to make boneless wings. The pre-prep mostly took care of things, fortunately. We did most of the work on Monday, and my dad flew in Tuesday (and boy were his ...-shot in the face-)
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